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Why Families and Why Does it Really Matter

In 1995, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints issued a landmark document called “The Family: A Proclamation to the World.” This proclamation outlines fundamental principles regarding the family unit, emphasizing its divine origin, purpose, and eternal significance. For LDS members, it guides understanding and nurturing family relationships. Families can draw inspiration from this proclamation to strengthen their bonds and live according to their beliefs.

God has a plan for His children, and the proclamation affirms that “marriage between a man and a woman is ordained by God” and that “the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.” This foundational belief shapes LDS families’ understanding of their purpose and potential.

LDS teachings emphasize that families can be together forever through sacred ordinances performed in temples. This eternal perspective encourages families to prioritize spiritual growth and unity.

The proclamation teaches that “husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children.” This principle underscores the importance of mutual respect, love, and commitment in marital relationships.

Parents are expected to “teach their children to understand and live according to the moral and ethical principles.” This charge encourages parents to act as primary educators and spiritual guides in their children’s lives.

The proclamation affirms that “gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.” It encourages families to embrace and honor fathers’ and mothers’ distinct roles and responsibilities in nurturing and providing for their children.

Creating meaningful traditions and spending quality time together fosters strong family bonds. Activities such as family home evening, service projects, and recreational outings promote love and unity.

Open communication and mutual respect allow family members to express their thoughts, feelings, and concerns.

When facing challenges, I have always relied on my faith in God’s plan for strength. I trust in the power of prayer, seek counsel from church leaders, and support my family with love and encouragement.

Principles of forgiveness and reconciliation help resolve conflicts and strengthen family relationships. LDS families strive to emulate Christlike love.

“The Family: A Proclamation to the World” is a beacon of inspiration and guidance for LDS families striving to live according to their beliefs. LDS families can cultivate a home environment rooted in love, faith, and unity by embracing its principles of divine origin, eternal significance, and familial responsibilities. Applying these principles in daily life strengthens our bonds and fulfills our sacred roles within God’s eternal plan.

If you have questions or would like to obtain additional information about this marvelous plan, please do not hesitate to contact me or leave a comment here. I would love to speak with you.

Nurturing Faith & Family When Not Everyone is on the Same Page

This is a topic near and dear to my heart. As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latte Day Saints with an Atheist husband and one inactive son, creating balance in our home has been the key to our success. In a world of diverse beliefs and perspectives, nurturing faith and maintaining family unity can present unique challenges. Whether navigating differing beliefs within your immediate family or extended relatives, honoring your faith while respecting others’ perspectives requires sensitivity, patience, and a commitment to love. Let’s explore some strategies I use for fostering faith and family harmony in a diverse belief environment.

Acknowledging differences with respect is vital. It is important to create an environment where family members feel safe expressing their beliefs without fear of judgment.

Listening to understand without the need to respond shows empathy towards differing viewpoints, recognizing that each person’s journey and experiences shape their beliefs.

While respecting diverse beliefs, clarify boundaries that uphold your faith practices and values. My husband is great at respecting my beliefs and encouraging me in my faith, but there are times when I need to strike a balance and respect his desires as well. I feel that is important if that means missing church on a Sunday because he wants to spend the day with me after a busy week.

Although my whole family is not on the same page regarding our spiritual journeys, I still try to nurture my family by sharing my faith through my actions and attitudes. I live out my beliefs authentically, showing how faith enriches my life.

Handling Challenges with Grace

Address disagreements or conflicts respectfully and calmly. Focus on finding common ground and maintaining mutual respect, even if you disagree on religious matters. I’m grateful for my church community of like-minded individuals who can provide encouragement and guidance. Although I may not have certain support at home, I still have support from my Bishop and friends at church.

It is important to practice forgiveness and grace, both towards yourself and others. Understand that everyone’s faith journey is unique, and growth often involves moments of tension and reconciliation.

    Embracing Unity in Diversity

    Although we may not share our faith values, we can identify and celebrate shared values within your family, such as love, compassion, and integrity. Fostering an atmosphere of mutual respect where each family member feels accepted and valued, regardless of their beliefs, allows us to embrace diversity as an opportunity for learning and growth.

    Navigating faith and family dynamics in a diverse belief environment requires patience, empathy, and a commitment to love. By fostering open communication, authentically nurturing your faith, and handling challenges gracefully, you can cultivate a harmonious family environment where differing beliefs enrich rather than divide. Ultimately, the journey of faith within the family is a testament to the power of love and understanding in bridging differences and nurturing spiritual growth. It works for us, and I hope it will also work for your family.

    Parenting with Love and Limits: Striking the Balance

    Parenting is a journey filled with joy, challenges, and countless decisions. One of the most crucial aspects of effective parenting is finding the balance between love and limits. Today, let’s explore what it means to parent with love and limits.

    Love forms the foundation of effective parenting. It is comprised of:

    Unconditional Acceptance: Children need to feel loved and accepted for who they are despite their behavior or achievements. This builds their self-esteem and emotional confidence.

    Empathy and Emotional Support: Parents who empathize with their children’s feelings and provide emotional support create a secure attachment bond that fosters trust and open communication.

    Positive Reinforcement: Acknowledging and praising positive behaviors encourages children to repeat them. Positive reinforcement reinforces the values and behaviors parents wish to instill.

    While love provides nurturing and support, setting limits is equally essential. Clear, consistent boundaries help children understand expectations and feel secure. When rules are consistently enforced, children learn accountability and respect for rules. Limits teach children about consequences and accountability. They know that actions have outcomes, creating a sense of responsibility.

      What are some strategies for parenting with love and limits?

      I am a huge proponent of effective communication. Listen actively to your child’s concerns and feelings, and communicate expectations clearly and respectfully. In the 27 years I have raised my children, one of the first things I discovered was that children learn by observing their parents. Model the values and behaviors you wish to instill in your children.

      When it comes to discipline, it should be firm yet loving. Consequences should teach rather than punish, guiding children towards responsible behavior. Spanking is a controversial topic for many, I will just say that we never used physical pain as a form of punishment when raising our sons. We wanted them to learn appropriate behavior based on understanding and not based on fear.

      I feel there are many rewards for balanced parenting. Parenting with love and limits nurtures children’s emotional well-being and character development. Children raised with love and boundaries develop a strong sense of self-worth and resilience in facing life’s challenges. They learn to respect others’ boundaries and create healthy, respectful relationships. By understanding limits and consequences, children grow into responsible adults who make thoughtful decisions.

      A delicate balance is required when parenting with love and limits parenting with love and limits that require patience, empathy, and consistency. By nurturing children with love and setting appropriate boundaries, parents equip them with the tools to navigate life confidently and responsibly. As we embrace this approach, let us remember the words of Proverbs 22:6: “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

      Mothers as Nurturers: A Gospel Perspective

      “No one can duplicate the influence of a mother. … Anytime I use the word ‘mother,’ I am not talking only about women who have given birth or adopted children in this life. I am speaking about all of our heavenly parents’ adult daughters. Every woman is a mother by virtue of her eternal divine destiny.” Russell M. Nelson

      In today’s world, the role of mothers as nurturers is often undervalued or misunderstood. Yet, throughout history and across cultures, mothers have been celebrated for their unique ability to nurture and care for their children. From a gospel perspective, the role of mothers as nurturers is not only affirmed but deeply rooted in the very essence of God’s design for families.

      From the creation account in Genesis, we see that God designed women with the remarkable ability to bear and nurture children. In Genesis 1:28, God commands Adam and Eve to “be fruitful and multiply.” This mandate speaks to the physical act of bearing children and implies the nurturing responsibility that comes with parenthood.

      Biblical Examples of Nurturing Mothers

      Sarah eventually bore Isaac in her old age (Genesis 21). She exemplifies patience and trust in God’s promises.

      Hannah, Samuel’s mother, fervently prays for a child (1 Samuel 1), demonstrating her deep desire to nurture and raise a child dedicated to God’s service.

      Perhaps the most famous mother in the Bible, Mary nurtured and raised Jesus, the Son of God, with love and obedience to God’s will.

        Characteristics of a Nurturing Mother

        Love and Compassion – Proverbs 31:26 describes a godly woman as one who “opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” Nurturing mothers exemplify kindness and compassion in their words and actions.

        Patience and Guidance – Ephesians 6:4 instructs parents to “bring children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Nurturing mothers patiently guide their children, teaching them values and principles rooted in Scripture.

        Prayerful Intercession – Proverbs 22:6 encourages parents to “train up a child in the way he should go,” recognizing the importance of prayer and spiritual guidance in nurturing children. I think we often think of nurturing a child while they are young, but I don’t know if I’ve ever prayed more for my children than I do now that they are young adults.

        Nurturing children is not without its challenges. It requires sacrifice, patience, and unwavering commitment. However, the rewards are immeasurable. Proverbs 31:28 praises a godly woman, saying, “Her children rise up and call her blessed.”

        Mothers are pivotal as nurturers in the family, reflecting God’s love and care for His children. From Eve, the mother of all living, to Mary, the mother of Jesus, there are many biblical examples of women who embraced their role with faithfulness and dedication. May we continue to cherish and support mothers in their noble task of nurturing the next generation.

        As we reflect on mothers as nurturers from a biblical perspective, let us remember one of my favorite scripture verses, Proverbs 31:30: “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

        The Warm Happy Marriage …

        In a world often characterized by fleeting relationships and disillusioned expectations, the pursuit of a warm, happy marriage can seem like chasing an elusive dream. Yet, among the challenges and uncertainties of modern life, there are timeless principles and practical insights that can show the path to lasting marital happiness.

        Understanding the Reality

        Marriage is a journey marked by both happy triumphs and challenging trials. It’s important to recognize that no marriage is immune to difficulties. Financial pressures, poor communication, parenting challenges, and personal differences can all test the strength of a relationship. Acknowledging these realities honestly and openly is the first step toward building a solid and fulfilling marriage.

        The Foundations of a Warm, Happy Marriage

        Effective communication is about exchanging words and truly understanding and connecting with your partner. It involves active listening, empathy, and the willingness to express thoughts and feelings openly. Building a communication culture where both partners feel heard and valued fosters trust and intimacy.

        A warm, happy marriage thrives on commitment—a daily choice to prioritize your spouse’s well-being and the relationship. Dedication involves weathering storms together, celebrating victories, and continually investing time and effort into nurturing the marital bond.

        Respect forms the foundation of a healthy marriage. It means honoring each other’s perspectives, choices, and boundaries. Supporting your spouse in their aspirations, dreams, and personal growth cultivates a partnership built on mutual encouragement and admiration.

        Couples with shared values and goals often experience greater alignment in their relationship. Whether it’s spiritual beliefs, lifestyle choices, or family priorities, having shared aspirations creates a sense of unity and purpose that strengthens marital harmony.

        No marriage is perfect, and conflicts will inevitably happen. Practicing forgiveness—both seeking it and extending it—allows couples to move forward from hurts and misunderstandings with renewed compassion and resilience. Grace means accepting imperfections and choosing to love unconditionally.

          Practical Steps for Building a Warm, Happy Marriage

          Carve out intentional time to connect with your spouse in the hustle and bustle of daily life. Whether through shared hobbies, date nights, or meaningful conversations, nurturing your relationship requires dedicated moments of togetherness.

          Marriage is a journey of continuous learning and growth. Be open to feedback, willing to compromise, and committed to personal development. Embrace opportunities for couples’ retreats, workshops, or counseling to strengthen your relationship.

          Acknowledge and celebrate your marriage’s milestones, achievements, and moments of joy. Express gratitude for your partner’s contributions and efforts, fostering a positive atmosphere of appreciation and encouragement.

          Approach challenges as a team. Communicate openly about concerns, brainstorm solutions together, and lean on each other for support. Facing adversity strengthens the marital bond and builds resilience.

            A warm, happy marriage is not a fairy tale ending but a daily commitment to love, respect, and support. By embracing these cold, hard facts with courage and determination, couples can cultivate a relationship that not only endures but flourishes among life’s complexities. Remember, the journey to marital happiness is a shared endeavor that unfolds through intentional actions, mutual understanding, and unwavering dedication to building a life filled with warmth, joy, and enduring love.

            Mission Accomplished … Now What?

            That’s me in the middle with two of my sisters.

            I grew up in a dysfunctional home. My dad was an alcoholic, and my mom worked two jobs for as long as I can remember to keep a roof over her daughter’s heads. As a younger child, I didn’t realize that our home was dysfunctional. I had nothing to compare it to, so I knew no different. It wasn’t until around upper middle school (back then, it was called Jr. High) that I started to notice that some of my friend’s homes and families were different. Once I got to high school, I definitely became highly aware of the differences between family dynamics, mainly in financial observation.

            Although we lived in an older, less affluent neighborhood, the high school I attended and the majority of the students there came from very well-off families. They wore all the newest clothing styles and drove to school in newer model cars provided by their parents. This was not me or my situation. The one thing I had going for me that allowed me to infiltrate into the more “popular” crowd was that I was a very pretty girl. Thus, a lot of the popular boys wanted to be my friend.

            From an early age, I set what I suppose you could consider a goal, although I wasn’t aware it was a goal at that time. I just knew what I wanted: I wanted to marry a man who didn’t drink and could provide financially for our family so I could be a stay-at-home mom. I wanted to be able to provide for my future family, all the things I didn’t have growing up.

            Fast-forward to today, and I can happily say that the mission was accomplished. Of course, the past 29 years have not all been bliss, but my husband doesn’t drink, has a great work ethic, and has been a good provider for our family. I was able to be a stay-at-home mom for both of our sons, who were homeschooled for 13 years. When our youngest son reached 9th grade, he wanted to start attending the local high school just as his brother did. Knowing that this was going to leave me with a lot of free time, I decided to start working part-time. I became a substitute teacher, and I could work at my son’s high school, so I was on the same schedule as them, and I could attend all of their after-school sports.

            Now, our sons are 27 and 23 years old, and although they both still live at home, they do their own things socially and at work. Although I still like doing the mom thing and making dinner for my family (when they are home), tending to their laundry, and baking the occasional treat (which they still appreciate), I realized that I needed something more for me as a 50-something-year-old woman who never attended college or had a profession. I felt it was time that I started discovering my passion and doing something with it. The problem was that my passion was still my family and home. When I sat and thought about if there was anything in this world that I could do, what would that be, it always came back to family and, more importantly, how no matter what family you were placed in from the beginning, you have the power and ability to create the family of your dreams. After a couple of years of telling myself there was no way I would be able to be a college student at my age, having a fear of failure, quitting and looking like a failure to my children, and so much prayer, I felt very prompted by the Spirit to enroll in college. I held my breath, closed my eyes, and took the leap with BYU Pathways Worldwide.

            Knowing that I wanted to do something in relation to families or social work, I enrolled and chose a degree in Family and Human Services. It’s taking me a while to work my way through because I am only attending part-time (I also work part-time), but I have not entirely, and I am one semester away from receiving my AAS degree.

            I will share much more about this story with you, but I think this is enough for now. As I have been pondering the past few weeks the amount of time it’s taking me to complete my degree (especially at my age), the cost involved, and what I will even do with it once I’ve received my bachelor’s degree, I’ve been asking myself a lot of questions like why am I even doing this? Are you really going to be able to do anything with this? How is this helping your family? I’ve been thinking a lot about my Why, and that’s what I’d like to talk to you about at our next visit. We need to find our why, how we find it, and what we do once we have it.

            Enduring to the End

            Building an enduring, healthy marriage involves several foundational processes that contribute to its strength and longevity. One of the most crucial may be communication. Effective communication is crucial. This involves not only expressing thoughts and feelings openly but also listening attentively to your partner. It’s about understanding each other’s perspectives and resolving conflicts constructively. Although we may not, and don’t have to agree with, everything our spouse believes, it is important to at least acknowledge that you understand their right to have their own perspective.

            Trust and honesty may be the next most vital attributes of a marriage. Trust forms the bedrock of a strong marriage. Being honest with your partner, maintaining integrity in your actions, and demonstrating reliability build trust over time. Additionally, Mutual respect involves valuing each other’s opinions, feelings, and needs. Empathy allows partners to understand and support each other emotionally, fostering a deeper connection.

            Marriage requires a commitment to work through challenges and prioritize the relationship amidst other demands. Dedication involves investing time and effort into nurturing your marriage. Aligning on core values and having common goals create a sense of unity and purpose within the marriage. It provides a framework for decision-making and planning together.

            Disagreements are inevitable in any relationship. Effective conflict resolution involves staying calm, focusing on the issue at hand, and seeking solutions that satisfy both partners. Being supportive and offering encouragement during both triumphs and challenges strengthens the marital bond. Viewing each other as equal partners in navigating life enhances mutual respect and collaboration.

            Spending quality time together strengthens emotional bonds. Physical and emotional intimacy, including affection, sexual connection, and emotional closeness, are vital for marital satisfaction. Often once children are introduced into a marriage/family, the time we spend with our spouse can take a back burner. At the end of the day, we are tired, and sharing intimacy is the last thing we want to think about, but it’s important to remember that once the children are grown and gone, you will be left standing with your partner. You don’t want to be left standing with a stranger that you have nothing in common with anymore.

            Accepting imperfections and forgiving mistakes are essential in maintaining harmony. Offering grace to each other fosters an atmosphere of acceptance and growth. Marriage evolves over time, and being adaptable to changes in circumstances, roles, and expectations is crucial. Flexibility allows partners to adjust and grow together.

              By focusing on these foundational processes, couples can cultivate a resilient and fulfilling marriage that withstands the tests of time and enriches their lives together.

              Social Science & Family

              “Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ“

              In the context of social science and families, there are several key principles and beliefs that shape our understanding:

              1. Eternal Families: LDS doctrine emphasizes the eternal nature of families. Marriages performed in LDS temples are believed to endure beyond death, allowing families to be together in the afterlife. This belief influences how LDS individuals prioritize family relationships and work to strengthen them.
              2. Importance of Marriage and Parenthood: Marriage is considered a sacred covenant, and parenthood is seen as a central responsibility and blessing. The LDS Church encourages its members to marry and raise children in accordance with its teachings, promoting family stability and unity.
              3. Gender Roles: The LDS perspective typically upholds traditional gender roles within families, with men encouraged to provide for and protect their families while women are encouraged to nurture and support their husbands and children. This belief is based on teachings about the complementary nature of men’s and women’s roles.
              4. Emphasis on Family Values: LDS teachings emphasize values such as love, respect, honesty, and service within the family unit. These values are seen as foundational to creating a nurturing and supportive environment where children can thrive and individuals can grow spiritually.
              5. Parental Responsibility: Parents are regarded as primarily responsible for the spiritual and moral upbringing of their children. This responsibility includes teaching children about faith, scripture study, prayer, and other spiritual practices.
              6. Community and Support: Within the LDS Church, there is a strong emphasis on community and support networks for families. Local congregations (called wards or branches) often provide opportunities for families to socialize, receive spiritual guidance, and support one another in times of need.
              7. Challenges and Adversity: The LDS perspective acknowledges that families face challenges and adversity. Beliefs in prayer, faith, and reliance on God are important in helping families navigate these difficulties together.

              Overall, the LDS perspective on social science and families integrates religious beliefs with practical guidance for building strong, loving, and enduring family relationships. These principles often shape how LDS individuals approach marriage, parenting, and their roles within the broader community.

              You

              “Defending the Family”

              We call upon responsible citizens everywhere to promote measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as society’s fundamental unit.

              President Spencer W. Kimball taught that “the time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us” (Kimball, 1980, p.4). What a sad thought that is to me. Although I did not grow up in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and I am a product of a dysfunctional, broken home, I feel blessed to be able to now implement the beautiful principles from The Family Proclamation. Our family has been blessed beyond measure since I joined the church 19 years ago, and I was introduced to this God-inspired instruction to the family.

              One of the most incredible things about this knowledge is that we can implement the principles in our own families and have the opportunity to share them with others. Being the only member of my siblings who is a member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I have several family members who live more of the standards of this generation than of a gospel standard. I love my family, and I feel fortunate that we are all very close, which is something our mother instilled in us as we grew up. I especially love it when a family member comes to me for my advice or insight on solving a family issue. This tells me that they see and are aware of the difference my husband and our sons project from the way of these modern times. They may consider us “old-fashioned,” but they also see our love and solidarity as we live our family life.

              So, how do you share and defend “old-fashioned” family principles in today’s world without being offensive? Here are a few things I am mindful of when I am asked for my advice on family matters by non-LDS friends and family.

              Always be understanding. Taking the time to listen to their experiences without judgment allows them to feel you have respect and empathy. There are many things in the proclamation that we can all share common ground on, focus on, and things you can agree on, such as the importance of love, respect, and commitment in relationships. I believe everyone has the right to live according to their beliefs and values, which I make known. Be willing to listen and discuss differing opinions so no one feels judged. I enjoy sharing how our family has been blessed by the proclamation. Although we have been married for over 28 years, it hasn’t always been perfect. I am not afraid to share our struggles and how the principles of the proclamation have made a powerful impact on our lives. Always respect others’ boundaries and never impose your beliefs on others. Instead, focus on building understanding and respect. Connection is vital in families, so focus on unity and the strength that comes from supporting and loving each other unconditionally, even when it’s challenging.

              Leading by example is the most powerful way to influence those around you. When I see someone with what I want, I’m more inclined to seek out how they obtained it. Finally, let them know that you are always open and willing to revisit any conversation or topic at any time. Relationships and perspectives change, so ongoing conversation is important when respecting others’ journeys.

              By approaching the conversation with empathy, respect, and a focus on love and understanding, you can share the principles of “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” with family members and friends who lead non-traditional lives in a way that promotes unity and mutual respect.

              The Family Proclamation


              The principles outlined in “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” have served as a beacon of light since President Gordon B. Hinckley announced them in 1995, guiding individuals, families, communities, and nations through the challenges and complexities of modern life.

              In a world where the very fabric of family is often strained by societal pressures, technological advancements, and shifting cultural norms, the proclamation stands as a steadfast reminder of the divine importance and eternal nature of the family unit.

              At its core, the proclamation offers a blueprint for building and nurturing strong families. It emphasizes the sacred nature of marriage between a man and a woman, the central role of parents in raising and nurturing children, and the importance of love, respect, and unity within the family. These principles provide individuals and families with a guide and a standard by which to navigate the complexities of life.

              In a society where relationships are often disposable, and values are increasingly relativistic, the proclamation offers a counter-cultural message of enduring truth. It challenges individuals to prioritize family relationships above all else and to cultivate virtues such as selflessness, sacrifice, and commitment.

              The proclamation’s influence extends far beyond the walls of individual homes. It serves as a banner to communities and nations, reminding us of the vital importance of strong families in building healthy societies. As Elder Ballard urged, it is incumbent upon all individuals—regardless of faith or background—to hold fast to its teachings and to commit ourselves to live by its precepts.

              As we continue to face the myriad challenges of the modern world, let us turn to “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” as a source of wisdom, strength, and guidance. Let us uphold and defend the sanctity of the family unit, recognizing it as the fundamental building block of society. Let us strive to live in accordance with its timeless principles, knowing that in doing so, we can find greater happiness, fulfillment, and purpose in our lives.