Families

We call upon responsible citizens everywhere to promote measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as society’s fundamental unit.

President Spencer W. Kimball taught that “the time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us” (Kimball, 1980, p.4). What a sad thought that is to me. Although I did not grow up in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and I am a product of a dysfunctional, broken home, I feel blessed to be able to now implement the beautiful principles from The Family Proclamation. Our family has been blessed beyond measure since I joined the church 19 years ago, and I was introduced to this God-inspired instruction to the family.

One of the most incredible things about this knowledge is that we can implement the principles in our own families and have the opportunity to share them with others. Being the only member of my siblings who is a member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I have several family members who live more of the standards of this generation than of a gospel standard. I love my family, and I feel fortunate that we are all very close, which is something our mother instilled in us as we grew up. I especially love it when a family member comes to me for my advice or insight on solving a family issue. This tells me that they see and are aware of the difference my husband and our sons project from the way of these modern times. They may consider us “old-fashioned,” but they also see our love and solidarity as we live our family life.

So, how do you share and defend “old-fashioned” family principles in today’s world without being offensive? Here are a few things I am mindful of when I am asked for my advice on family matters by non-LDS friends and family.

Always be understanding. Taking the time to listen to their experiences without judgment allows them to feel you have respect and empathy. There are many things in the proclamation that we can all share common ground on, focus on, and things you can agree on, such as the importance of love, respect, and commitment in relationships. I believe everyone has the right to live according to their beliefs and values, which I make known. Be willing to listen and discuss differing opinions so no one feels judged. I enjoy sharing how our family has been blessed by the proclamation. Although we have been married for over 28 years, it hasn’t always been perfect. I am not afraid to share our struggles and how the principles of the proclamation have made a powerful impact on our lives. Always respect others’ boundaries and never impose your beliefs on others. Instead, focus on building understanding and respect. Connection is vital in families, so focus on unity and the strength that comes from supporting and loving each other unconditionally, even when it’s challenging.

Leading by example is the most powerful way to influence those around you. When I see someone with what I want, I’m more inclined to seek out how they obtained it. Finally, let them know that you are always open and willing to revisit any conversation or topic at any time. Relationships and perspectives change, so ongoing conversation is important when respecting others’ journeys.

By approaching the conversation with empathy, respect, and a focus on love and understanding, you can share the principles of “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” with family members and friends who lead non-traditional lives in a way that promotes unity and mutual respect.